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Thursday, May 27th, 2004
11:35 pm - The bitch is back
I'm sure you're all thrilled.

Will probably be a bit slower to bitch because of the mite (yes, the bitchy genes have been passed on to another generation and so on). Most of my free time will be spent sleeping. So no time to read or write or anything.

Enough said of real life. This isn't the forum for that.

Have been browsing through a few archives, and I'm totally appalled by the way people comment on their own fics in the author's notes.

"I know this is crap, but R&R anyway and tell me I'm da woman!"

"Wrote this at 5am and dind't use a betta even thogh I'm not native Engrish speeker and had to post imediately! Say you love thos!"

What do these people think I'll say? Lie? They already *know* their work sucks, but they want me to tell it doesn't? Or is it a new way to ask for positive fb?


I wish someone would say:

"I spent some time and brain activity to write this fic. Followed canon as best as I could, but there are some things I didn't like about canon, so try not to kill me if this isn't 100% accurate. Yes, I use a beta. Yes, I have re read my fic before posting. No, am not a teenager.

You may not like this story. That's your prerogative. You may want to send me negative or neutral fb. Go ahead, just try not to be extra mean. And don't threaten to kill me. That is not nice. Thank you very much."

And what's with these "If I don't get 50 praising fbs, I'll stop writing this WIP" -messages? Are these people total fb whores? Yes they are. So totally. Am not happy with people who say either "I have no idea what to write next" or "The story kinda got out of control" either.

It's your story. You should know what to do with it.

I now have the urge to rant about Mpregs (for the obvious reason), but I think I'll do that later.


current mood: busy

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Wednesday, April 28th, 2004
4:18 am
Reality over rants. No rants here for a few days more. Will *not* rant about real life problems.

I know. You're all so very disappointed.

current mood: crappy

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Wednesday, April 21st, 2004
9:32 am - Homo Idioticus
Yes, am an idiot. I know Inkstain archive is full of crap, and yet I go there. Every damn day.

Read a long bonding fic there. It was mostly //add the c**p word here please//. The adults all sound like stupid teenagers. There's hints of HP/RW and HP/HG (they snog), but no warnings about disturbing het content or the fact that it's not just HP/SS.

I could rant about the abominable charactarization, the awkward dialogue and the fact that it's probable pigs will fly before there's *one* good Harry Potter fic anywhere in the net, but won't bother.

Fighting against windmills can be bloody frustrating.

current mood: disappointed

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Saturday, April 17th, 2004
10:30 pm - Alternative Universe
I read a story at Inkstain. Yes, am a masochist.

The warning said AU, so I proceeded cautiously. Usually AUs can be crappy as hell. This time, it was even worse than I feared. Harry was completely crippled mentally. Snape was about as OOC as he can be. Their relationship was all wrong, Harry depending on Snape with everything; food, clothes, home. Emotionalwreck!Harry and Sweetcaring!Snape.


What's the difference between an AU and an original fic? Apparently most people think there's no difference. They just grab characters' names and outer appearances and run with them.

I could read Elrond being the ruler of a free trade space station, with Erestor as his second in command and Glorfindel as his chief of security. Having Harry be a novice in a medieval monastery could be fun. Seeing all the boys live in a cave ten thousand years ago? Bring it on!

But even then, the characters should be recognizable. That's what makes it an AU. Different settings, familiar characters. Not an original fiction with familiar names (to make people read it...).

Of course when you point out the OOCness and the stupidity of a fic to an archivist/author/whoever, you get the usual 'shut up you evil bitch, it's *my* story and I have artistic license to write whatever crap I want to!'

Fine. But I have the reader's license to criticize.


Look! I got *icons*! They're fabulous. Thank you, WB! //spoils her image once again by squeeing//

current mood: frustrated

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Thursday, April 15th, 2004
2:46 am - Nomen est omen
My sister loves Emmerdale. Not exactly a soap opera, but not that far from it. She says it relaxes her to watch something brainless.

I don't understand her.

When I read slash, it never relaxes me to read something brainless. Quite the contrary. It makes me mad as hell.

I got a reply to a previous rant, and the person reminded me of one of the most annoying things in fanfic ever. Calling Mulder 'Fox' sent me through a very vivid flashback from Sentinel fandom to the ones I read these days.


I've never liked any of the nicknames people have tried to inflict on me. My name's not complicated, but still some idiots insist on trying to shorten it somehow. Or they try to be cute.

Yes, I will claw your eyes out if you call me 'Nen, Nenny, HeyHeyHenna, Hens (!), Henners, HeyNonny' or any other stupid variation of my name. I mean it.

There's this awful trend in slash these days to give the characters nicknames. I can deal with SeanA and Beanie, since it's a good way to make sure I don't go all 'huh?' while I read RPS. I am perfectly happy with canon nicknames /Ron, Gil et al./

But what the hell is wrong with people who insist on giving characters like Elrond or Snape nicknames?

It makes no sense at all! Glorfindel /Fin, Glory, Del/ screaming 'Oh, Rondy /Elly, Ellers/, honey! How nice to see you!' as he runs down the hallway towards Elrond. Maybe he thinks they're filming the sequel to Priscilla, queen of the desert. Or maybe Harry /'ry, Har/ telling Ron how his love-bunny Sev /Sevvy, Sevie, Sevsnoogels/ is the best boyfriend ever.

Does anyone actually find these names sweet and lovely? Can you see El, Dan, Jackers, Remmie, Siri (sweet Jesus I hate that!) and all the others coo at each other and actually enjoy it?

Me neither.

I have to wonder if the authors have read too may Barbara Cartland books. Where everyone ends up being lovey dovey and true love means holding hands and staring into each other's eyes. And use sappy nicknames describing your true love.

/throws up/

Has anyone ever read a story with a *good* nickname???

current mood: grumpy

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Tuesday, April 13th, 2004
9:46 am
Oh my God!

There was this clip in the newspaper saying that Orlando Bloom is one of the best dressing men at the moment.

I almost died laughing. Have these people seen pictures of him?

Hmmm... This post is fangirlish, but not even vaguely bitchy. Am sort of disappointed of myself.

current mood: amused

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1:47 am - the end
Is 'the end' the hardest thing to type? It shouldn't be, but apparently lots of people have trouble with it.

All right. So Haldir has loved Celeborn since he was an elfling. Now that Galadriel's sailed away (and I can't be the only one miffed about what happened to that trio in the films!) he is determined not to show his emotions to Celeborn, fearing he won't love him. Then one day something happens to force them to do something together /insert your standard road trip - fishing trip - war against surviving orcs -going to see Arwen in Minas Tirith -plot device here/.

For days they journey toward their destination. Things happen to make Celeborn see Haldir as a man. Not just a child. Their relationship develops. Through dangers and whatnots, they finally get together as a couple. They arrive back home or finish fishing or kill all the orcs or see Arwen. And of course they love each other so much!

The phrase that should come here is 'the end'.

Sadly, it usually doesn't.

So now the boys are together. Why not have them build a house /or a flet/ and live together. Maybe they could have a cat. Or a dog. Or a ferret. How about adopting a foundling? Wouldn't that be great?

Or maybe they can go to Imladris and play matchmaker. There are all those elves living there /and let's just forget the fact that they should have sailed with Galadriel in the first place/. We can have a great saga where all elves have a happy ending together.

Of course we'll never actually *get* to any ending, since there are always more people to write of. Instead of actually giving them a story of their own, the author adds them to the fic. Instead of letting the elves to 'live happily ever after', we have their lives described day by day until at least yours truly wants to scream.

There used to be a trend in X-Files fandom years ago. Mulder would fall in love with either Skinner or Krycek. Then they would get a house. Buy a dog. A Golden Retriever if he was with Skinner, a German Shepherd if he was with Krycek. Then we saw them buy a car. Shop for clothes. Groceries. A new bed. A birthday present to Scully. The author introduced us to Scully's new boyfriend, Skinner's long lost twin brother and Krycek's sister.

After a few hundred pages, those stories got damn tedious...

I know there's a strange irony with this rant. I don't like 'stories' that are two pages long, but a two hundred pages long fic with no real plot and where the couple gets together during the first five pages and then start living the author's perfect dream of a life are a pain in the butt as well.

The End (of rant)

current mood: disappointed

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Sunday, April 11th, 2004
11:16 pm - Pretty boy, pretty boy
I am so sick of reading fic about beautiful people who are in fact not.

During my years in fandoms, I've read slash about cute boyband boys /oh the shame/, beautiful elves, Harry Potter and his yearmates. There have been lots of other lovely and handsome men like Methos /and why is everyone obsessed with his nose?/, Krycek, Tom Paris, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Nick Stokes.

Yes. They are all sexy. With some /can we say boybands again?/ the sexiness is purely about their looks. With some, it's about the whole, especially the attitude.

We have fandoms full of extremely aesthetic men. And women, for those who like het or femmeslash. So why oh why do we need more of them?

I have read stories, where Snape takes off a charm that uglifies him. No, he's not actually old or greasy haired or big nosed. He's younger, muscled. Sexy as hell, of course. Then there was a fic where Gandalf was seen as a potential lover only as Elrohir saw his *true* maia form which was of course sexy as hell. Stumbled into a story where Giles from Buffy turns into a teenager just so that he's not 'old and gross'. Need I even say the sexy as hell part?

What the hell is wrong with people??? So sexy men can't be sexy if they're old or not perfectly muscled or have greasy hair? Is a beard a turn off?

There are so many sexy and young and perfect characters. If you want to write about beautiful people, go ahead. But why rape characters by making them look 'better' than they do? I think it's disgusting.

Personally, I love fiction where the characters aren't perfect. As an avid Britslasher, I love Inspector Morse and Andy Dalziel, who are older and definitely heavier than their partners. The idea of Gandalf paired with a beautiful elf isn't disgusting. I can read greasy git Snape anytime. I understand that not everyone wants their slash with non -attractive things or men, but they should write about characters who already are 'lovely'.


current mood: moody

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4:24 am - Fans (fen?), fangirls and minions
Hello, I'm Henna and I'm a fan!


I'm a great big fan of LOTR. Both the book and the movies. Read the book when I was around 10. Didn't understand everything, but as I read it again years later, it made more sense. Should probably read it again soon and see if I still love it. Wasn't excited about the movies when they came out, but after seeing FOTR, I was hooked.

Have bought all the DVDs, soundtracks, and a friend of mine even bought me a lovely King Theoden bookmark the last time she made a trip to our lovely capital city. I say yay her! Memorabilia!

All right then. So I'm a LOTR fan. Why do I not call myself a fangirl? Since that seems to make people all angry and ranting /and threaten to whack yours truly with a mackerel/ I've been thinking about the word a lot these past few days.

I'd say that a fangirl would be one who is fanatically enamoured with something. Walls full of clippings of the LOTR characters or actors. Traveling long distances to squee over the actors. Tattooing Peter Jackson's picture on their bum. Flocking together to squee and squabble.

When I use the word in fandoms, I usually talk about people who act fanatically about a fandom/writer. Those people who spend their days on LJ squeeing about a writer, stroking their ego. Who can see nothing bad in their idol or their way of writing.

Is it condescending? I think it depends on people. I can call myself a fangirl about certain things and feel silly and girly about it /not that I've been a 'girl' for over quarter of a century/. If calling brainless squeeing fangirlish is condescending, then so be it. You squee, I call you a fangirl, then you call me a bitch. That seems to be the trend these days. Of course the fact that all that squeeing makes you by my definition a 'fangirl' doesn't seem to interest anyone.

But hey. Whatever.

Then there's the evil M word. No, not marshmallow. Minion. What is a minion?

Well, think about orcs. They prowl mindlessly around, obeying Sauron's /or Saruman's/ orders. They attack everything and anyone who doesn't agree with their lord. You can't reason with them, you can't negotiate with them. No chance of a conversation.

If I say that I do love LOTR movies, but that there were some things in the last one I didn't like and would have preferred a more fluid ending...

A fan would say that hey, you can't please anyone, but that Peter Jackson did a great job with the whole.

A fangirl would probably say something like... OMG I just LUV the moviez and isn't Orli just so SQUEE in it???? And you shouldn't criticize something as cool as that and SQUEE again!!!

A minion's comment would be curt. Criticize PJ again, and I'll kill you you stupid bitch! On a good day, they'd probably just throw a mackerel.

An enemy of my enemy is my friend? Maybe. An enemy of my friend is my enemy? Seems to be a trend in fandoms. Of course it would be nice if people had a clear definition of the word 'enemy'.

Someone flaming others, leaving messages telling authors to drop dead and stop writing? Definitely. Someone leaving curt fb? Whatever.

Now that I feel I've spent enough time self pimping here /look! I'm really a nice person!/, I'll just go back to what I do best.

current mood: cheerful

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Saturday, April 10th, 2004
10:10 am - The responsibility of one person
As the head honcho of this LiveJournal (well, it is mine, isn't it?)I'm the one responsible of what goes on here. Right? So people, stop making personal nasty comments to each other here. Whining about various topics is all right. Fighting over which is better, RPS, FPS, Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck, that's cool as well.

But calling each other names... You can do that on your own time away from here. I believe in free speach, but will not leave things lie in hopes they'll just go away. Flame each other on my LJ, and there'll be hell to pay.

Thank you very much!

//sits back and watches people flock away//

current mood: cranky

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1:50 am - I'm a... (everyone sings together!)
Had a very interesting conversation with an author a moment ago. It made me think about a certain word and why would I use it on myself.

Well, because I am. I do.

Entry: complain
Function: verb
Definition: grumble
Synonyms: accuse, ascribe, attack, beef, bellyache, bemoan, bewail, bitch, carp, cavil, charge, contravene, criticize, defy, demur, denounce, deplore, deprecate, differ, disagree, disapprove, dissent, expostulate, find fault, fret, fuss, gainsay, grieve, gripe, groan, grouse, growl, grumble, impute, indict, lament, lay, look askance, moan, nag, object, oppose, protest, refute, remonstrate, repine, reproach, snivel, sound off, wail, whimper, whine, yammer

Entry: hard
Function: adjective
Definition: difficult
Synonyms: arduous, backbreaking, ball-breaker, bitch, bothersome, burdensome, complicated, demanding, difficile, distressing, effortful, exacting, exhausting, fatiguing, formidable, grinding, hairy, heavy, herculean, intricate, involved, irksome, knotty, labored, laborious, mean, merciless, murder, onerous, operose, rigorous, rough, rugged, scabrous, serious, severe, slavish, sticky, strenuous, terrible, tiring, toilful, toilsome, tough, troublesome, unsparing, uphill, uphill battle, wearing, wearisome, wearying

Entry: lady
Function: noun
Definition: woman
Synonyms: adult, babe, bag, baroness, bitch, broad, butterfly, contessa, countess, dame, doll, duchess, empress, female, gal, gentlewoman, girl, little woman, mama, mare, matron, missus, mistress, noblewoman, old bag, old lady, old woman, petticoat, princess, queen, queen bee, rib, squaw, sultana, weaker sex

Ew. The only thing I actually do have a problem with is the last synonym for a woman. Weaker? Hah...

current mood: bitchy

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Friday, April 9th, 2004
10:20 pm - To plot or not to plot (a.k.a Henna takes a trip down the memory lane)
Correct me if I'm wrong...

When I first came to fandoms, it was mostly an elitist thing with closed up communities. The time of the Flame Wars and mailing lists. When 99% of us authors were seduced into fic by Star Trek.

Yes. That makes me sound ancient, doesn't it?

Fanfic was different back then. Especially slash. Since I'm not reading/writing het anymore, I can't really say anything about that. So let's concentrate on slash here.

The archives were full of stories back then. With weird storylines. Especially fiction based on various cop shows (scream if you remember the era of Sentinel, or have ever read fiction from the Bill!!) was about cases, kidnappings and then of our boys finding true love in each other.

We had authors who were actually respected for their ability to write proper text. Not for quantity. Us newbies were hesitant to post anything, considering the fact that whatever we'd post would not be as good as the stories already in the web.

Somewhere along the line, that changed.

These days, most of the stories are barely PWPs. Apparently everything has to be rated NC-17 to be taken seriously. As balance, we have the crappiest mush I've ever seen (and remember I *have* read Sentinel stories, so I'd know my mush). If an author has a story 'with many chapters' on her site, the chapters are usually less than 10 K. Any longer story has at least 40% of sex.

New authors pop up every day. They don't use beta readers, they rarely use the spell checker. Do they get criticism for the silly stories the write? No. They are praised.

This I know for a fact. As an avid HP and LOTR reader, I follow archives and mailing lists daily. There are no constructive fb on most of these places. So of course the authors won't think there's anything wrong with their fic if all they get is praise.

I must wonder... Am I like one of those elderly ladies who whine about the youngsters, or has something really happened? I'm tempted to blame everything on new, popular fandoms that tempt teenagers to write, but sadly some of the authors I speak of are around thirty. So can't blame on the teenyboppers.

Do we need plot anymore?

I'd say yes. It is always nice to read real stories. Of course writing a real story is hard work. Especially if you write the whole thing down before posting. You'll spend months working on a fic without praise. Been there, done that. But it's *worth it*.

Do people really think slash is just about getting the characters together? I've always loved stories where the characters live their lives in their world (whatever that may be). Something happens and they have to change somehow. They resolve the situation. Basic things in storytelling.

I don't mean that people should only write hundreds of pages of action-adventure. Shorter pieces can also be good. Two pages of Sam watching over Frodo or Draco going to the potions class to tell Snape he wants him and then they fuck like bunnies... I simply can not see those as stories.

Now I have an urge to call myself an elitist snob. Feel free to do the same.

current mood: gloomy

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Thursday, April 8th, 2004
11:49 pm - A question
A question about elf slash. Been wondering about this for a long time now.

Here's an example scene:

Erestor touched Glorfindel's shoulder brefly, smiling sadly as he saw the hesitation in his eyes. "Trust me, melethryn. I will not hurt you again."

All right. Erestor is an elf. Glorfindel is an elf. They live in Imladris, where most of the people are elves. So what language would these two speak together? Am not an expert, but according to most of the fics I'ver read, one is a Noldorin elf and the other one is something else. So would they resort to speaking Westron and accent things with Sindarin (or Quenya, I can't really tell them apart)? Or would they actually speak one of the elven languages all the time, in which case the elvish endearments, words like arda and arien etc. are completely unnecessary?

I want to know! This has been bugging me for ages.

I can understand making the definition if it's Aragorn/Legolas (or Aragorn/Elrond, Aragorn/Elladan/Elrohir or whatever), both trying not to offend the rest of the fellowship by speaking exclusively elvish or Boromir/Legolas, Gimli/Legolas, Faramir/Haldir, Eomer/Haldir or whichever pairing where the both of them can not speak elvish language fluently.

Otherwise, it doesn't really make sense (except that sometimes writing different languages and showing off is fun).

Of course trying to find some logic in fanfic where elves shag other elves (or men or dwarves or God forbit a stray hobbit or an orc...) is sort of a fool's quest, but what the hell.

//the example scene written by yours truly, so that no one gets offended by my audacity of quoting them//

current mood: curious

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3:14 pm - Yawn.
The minions are fighting back. Thus far, I've been called a childish idiot, a nasty evil person, and one lovely person even said I'm a bitch.

How preceptive!

There must be something wrong with people...:)

Then to the rant of the jour!

Self pimping. Yes, the temptation every author faces. From the moment they start a website, or join a fandom mailing list and some nice fan asks to make a site for them.

How far will you go?

The trend these days seems to be posting everything on your LiveJournal. It's alright, but couldn't people also have websites? They're not hard to maintain. You can get one for free! Stories (especially multi part WIPs) tend to get lost in the journals.

So please archive your stories somewhere.

Fandom archives? A good idea. The first thing I do when I stumble into a fandom is to go to an archive (and then bitch about the crappiness of it later on, but that's another story altogether...).

A LiveJournal? Another good idea. I like reading what my favourite writers have to say about things. It can turn into stupidity too. When the author only wants the friends list people (and do I love the word minions? yes I do!) to praise her and act as her little followers.

It's good to have a healthy sense of self. Fandom life is a great way of life, and I'm all for it! But hubris is always annoying.

The worst form of fandom hubris are the mailing lists. I get the fandom mailing lists. I do not understand why would someone have a mailing list for themselves.

The basic idea is of course excellent. Some people have limited time to browse the web. Getting stories in your mailbox is easy.

Sadly, it seems that the people who have these nice mailing lists usually use them to get readers to at least sign up ('I have a fan base of 400 people...') so they can be happy and know people read the stories. Just say that you post snippets only on the list, and people join in.

Then there's the chance to whine even more about the pains of writing and you'll always have people to console you. Therapy. Of course you can always threaten the list to stop writing the fic or altogether. That should boost your ego, when hundreds of panicked teenagers start sending you 'we love you' messages.

To me, it sounds sort of weird. Shameful.

But hey, that's just me!

Jumping from one topic to another... To anyone who is tempted to actually flaming me (again), basing the rant on the good ole 'you haven't written shit and *insert the name of the all knowing and worshipped author here* has written 90 stories', I'd like to say one thing.

Up yours.

Would I really bother bitching about something I have no idea of? The fact that you don't find any fic on my real name doesn't mean I haven't written under a pseudonym. I'm keeping that separate from rants, just because that's my prerogative.

Hmm... I do sound like a real bitch today. Go me!

current mood: bored

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1:01 am - Grr arrg!
Seems that people are having problems writing Harry Potter fandom. The stories are either lovey dovey or then *really* dark.

Can we all say ANGGGGGGST?

Not realism-angst (there is that pesky little war going on...) or even good old h/c, but extremely violent I'm just using you for sex -angst. PWPs with BDSM, mental instability, bloodplay, master/slave in its most extreme form and other nice things.

I have nothing against those stories. Just wish people would actually rate the stories correctly.

Yes, did see one of those stories at Inkstain. Yes, gave fb. Yes, had conversation with author and can't even be a bitch since she was nice.

What a waste of good bitchyness!

Random plea: I suck with photoshop. Would anyone like to make me some icons? Anything fandom related with appropriate text (i.e. evil bitch, grammar or death, repeat after me: 1000 minions don't mean I can write shit) appreciated.

Thank you!

current mood: chipper

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Wednesday, April 7th, 2004
12:30 pm - More amused than angry
Apparently my con.crit. did make morgana_avalon grow. At least she did learn how to use the ban button on her LiveJournal. Good for her!

Of course now all replies are from her fangirls and not from people who actually have something to say. I noticed that she had taken off my comment, so just for fun, I'll post it here instead.


Apparently when authors ask for fb, they really do want only praise. I don't bother with oneliners or teenybopper speech. I send fb to point excellent authors a) what I like about in their fic and b) where they might want to improve, in case they actually want to improve.

In a previous existence, I used to write fanfic. Mostly het, but also slash. I got nasty flames that made me cry, but I also got constructive fb that didn't praise my work and pointed out things people saw as flaws. Sometimes I ignored their message (sending a 'thanks for bothering to read the fic, and you're entitled to your opinion) or spent some time wondering if what they said was true.

I did leave my opinion in your guestbook. I do think you have an excellent talent with plot. I do think at some point your characters do seem to sound the same. If I deleted the names, I wouldn't know which pairing I was reading about. I do think your elves are too mushy. That's my opinion, and I'm entitled to it. Dearie, if you don't want to hear my opinion, you should have a huge sign saying 'I only want praise' in your guestbook. Otherwise someone honest may make the mistake of actually leaving you fb.

You now decide to take a break. That is always a good idea, considering how taxing writing is. If you try to blame your lack of inspiration on me, you're of course welcome to. I, however, do not feel any guilt because of it. People in literary world get worse judgements, but they still don't stop writing.

What surprises me, is that I never actually heard from you since I posted a comment that was definitely not a flame. I am always willing to discuss about fiction. Either privately or publicly. The fact that I found out about this whole hooblah by a third party sending me mail is quite frankly a bit disappointing.


Henna '

If someone thinks that was a flame, be my guest.

current mood: awake

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Tuesday, April 6th, 2004
11:19 am - Crap!
Library of Moria. What can I say about that place? Actually, there are so many things, I'd better ask what can I *not* say about that place.

One thing comes to mind immediately. That it hosts crap. And that I really hate the way they don't update when they say they do. That was two things, I know.

Does anyone care?

Of course when they do update, there are ten stories //that are crap//, a few that give you the good old 'file not found //and when you finally get to read the fic a week later it's crap// and then they promise to update the next day, which they won't //apparently there isn't enough crap to have daily updates//.

Of course I can not praise any archive these days. The ones that are automated are full of crap //feel free to point your finger at Inkstain any moment now//. The ones that are updated by actual archivists are also full of crap.

Why do I feel like I'm repeating myself here?

current mood: blah

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Monday, April 5th, 2004
12:46 am - Conversation
Have been mailing to an author whose story I reviewed, and after a long conversation we both came to an understanding. Am amazed.

Go HP author!

current mood: content

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12:10 am - A storm in a glass
I am quite appalled of the idiocy of people these days!

My thing is not to hammer authors until they bleed. I will never call anyone an idiot (no matter how I might want to) nor will I make any other comments about their persona. I send fb about fiction.

Yes, I know fic can be your precioussss. It feels awful to have a nasty comment or a critical review. Especially if you sort of know that the one sending you the review might be right.

I read so much crap in the net. It's not even funny! Adult men behaving like teenagers. Stoic characters crying. Elves sprouting floral stupidity to each other. Men like Snape flaunting their relationship to either Harry or Draco (sometimes both). RPS that's obviously an AU because you don't recognize the people or the places.

What happens to the people who write these stories? Yes, they get praised. The best story ever! I love your fic! Please write more!

God Almighty. It just makes me sick.

I wouldn't bother sending constructive fb to idiots. Those writers that simply can not write beyond 4 K sex scenes. They would simply be hurt because of my attempt to improve their work. But when I read from an author who has so much damn potential, and just *wastes* it all, I have to send fb.

Am not pointing anyone out here, but I have to say this on the record.

What makes a bad fic? (today's top ten)

1. The summary says: 'I know this is total crap, but please tell me it's the best story ever!!!'

2. The summary is as long (or longer) than the actual fic. Yes. I have seen that happen.

3. The characters can not be recognized. If it's a parody, then fine. If not, I would like to see as canon characters as possible.

4. If it's a short fic, don't write too many pairings. One is enough.

5. If it's a longer fic that has more pairing, for God's sake, don't have them all fall in love and have a happy ending! Or at least have a few pairings be mostly offscreen! Or have some break up for good.

6. Don't write about things you have no idea. I'm not a rocket scientist, so am not writing detailed stories about NASA people working. I like beer however, so I can write about them going for a drink. ;D

7. Forgetting reality. If the story is het, remember that one of the characters is a man. That means he can only have so many mushy thoughts/ lines. If it's slash, remember that men don't talk the way women do. If femslash, do be a dear and have them have a good catfight at least once a month.

8. WIPs. Finish your damn story before posting! Or at least concentrate on that one fic before you start another one. The worst thing is if an author dares to say that she'll stop writing if she has no fb. That's shameful.

9. Thinking that people just want to read about sex. Of course we do want the sex! But we also want plot. If you're not writing a PWP, give us something else than the steamy bedroom act!

10. Pride. So you got lots of praise for your fic. Splendid. Did you know that most of the people reading your stuff probably don't go for quality, but quantity (boy do I know this!) and want you to write more for that reason? You won an award? Marvelous! How many fics contested? Who gave the award? Would it be impossible to take some constructive fb as a balance? I visit many rec sites and usually take a peek on archive challenges and awarded fics. They're not always good. If talking about Library of Moria, they're rarely good.

But of course these are my opinions. Not the ten commandments or anything. As always, intelligent conversation is welcome. If you want to tell me to go to hell, be prepared to be laughed at.

//I am a bitch after all, and to such a flame, I answer with one of my own//

current mood: frustrated

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Wednesday, March 31st, 2004
10:18 am
I got a reply from a woman whose story I'd reviewed at Inkstain. She was quite annoyed of my post and wanted to know why I had a problem with her fic.

Let me tell you.

Anyone on a HP related slash list? Ever been to a msg board? Seen any of the reviews at Inkstain? No? Then you haven't seen the hundreds of posts every stupid 4k fic gets. You haven't seen the way idiots praise the soppy sniveling fluffy haired Snapes.

Potter fandom is obviously the playing ground of the adolescent mind. Every fb is a praise with stuff like 'OMG you're the BEST author evah!' It doesn't matter what crap people write.

I'm not going to flame anyone. To me, flame is a personal attack against someone. If I tell them the fic was too whatever (and don't call them idiot even once, though some might deserve it), it's just critique.

current mood: bitchy

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